i’m still here

Hey everyone. I wanted to check in since going silent last month.

I hope that you’ve been having a great year, as short as it’s been. January has been a bit rough for us- between my husband being gone, tragedies with his work, sicknesses in our household, and a general feeling of sadness that I just cannot shake. Ordinarily, I am not this candid on my blog. Rather, I tend to save my true feelings for Instagram. However, I thought screw it. It’s time to be honest, and stop being afraid of what people might think.

I had quite a few mothers reach out to me in my last post regarding my miscarriage. Thank you. Thank you for being brave enough to share your stories, coping mechanisms, and more. I truly feel united to you all, and wish you nothing but the best. This is a safe space for those who would like to connect and tell their truths. I support everyone who wishes to do so, and will tolerate no hatred, bullies, or trolls. If the latter relates to you, your comments will not be approved nor read by me!

Looking back through my Instagram feed, I’ve noticed that since having Remy, my face has changed. I used to be a carefree and naive girl. Now, I feel like I physically, mentally, and emotionally am so different. I’ve grown up, and as such, my appearance has matured. I no longer try to look happy and perfect in my photos, but rather, have a look of contentment and solemnity. I also seem to never look at the camera, but to focus on Remy instead. This is not forced, it is instinctive. It is motherhood.

A few weeks ago I set out to capture a few outfit photos. I used to regularly feature my outfit of the day, and I wanted to try bringing that back. After looking through the images, I saw someone I didn’t recognize. My eyes look sad, my hair is its natural dark, and my smile is contrived. The images were so raw that I considered not posting them. Then, relating back to my second paragraph, I knew that they needed to be published. This is me in pain. This is me carrying on during the day as if I didn’t lose my second child. This is me in my current state. This is me needing to change. I’m going to stop putting myself last in our family and take the time to put effort into how I think, feel, and look. I’m going to do selfish things that make me feel like a normal person again. I’m going to colour my hair, get my nails done, and return to the gym. I’m going to stop suppressing my emotions and instead let them out. I deserve these things. We all do. We shouldn’t deny ourselves of self-care. I have for 2 years now, and it’s going to stop. This death doesn’t signify an end. This is the start of something new.

What do you guys do for self-love? What brings you back to feeling normal?

Emory

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merry christmas to all

What a difference a year can make. Last year on December 25, Remy turned 10 months old. She had just gotten her first two teeth, and that morning, had learned to crawl. We were so happy. This year, we are mourning the loss of our second child. I suffered a miscarriage this month, and it has left a deep void in our family. This picture was going to be on our Christmas card where we revealed to close friends and family our joyous secret. Now, it remains one of our only photos as a family of four.

Friends, I truly, truly wish you all nothing but the best in 2018. Enjoy spending time with your loved ones, and give your children an extra hug and kiss for me tonight. You are so blessed to have them.

I will be taking a short break from blogging. Merry Christmas, everyone.

All my love,

Emory

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christmas minis

It’s almost Christmas! This year I had advertised for mini (mini) photography sessions. My ad was aimed at those who specifically had their cards in mind. The shoots were very short and very styled. For this family in particular, I came to their house, asked them what they had in mind, and we set about pulling it off!

Here is just one of those sessions. To book your own, please visit Prudence + Me Photography.

Emory

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m + d newborn session

Welcome December! If you can recall, I first met this lovely couple from their maternity shoot. They have since gone from a duo to a trio. We met a few days before Halloween, so of course they put their little sweetie in her first costume!

It’s such an honour when clients return. I feel so blessed to photograph the same people more than once. On top of that, photographing new babies doesn’t feel like a job! We spent part of the afternoon in my home studio, and with soft music playing in the background and easy conversation, it was a wonderful time. I hope to see them again in the future.

To book your own session, please visit Prudence + Me Photography.

Emory

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cheesy taco casserole

Ingredients:

1 lb ground beef
2 cups tortilla chips
1 ½ cups medium salsa
½ cup tomato
½ cup red pepper
½ cup green onion
1 ½ cups shredded cheese

Steps:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. In a medium skillet, cook ground beef through over medium heat. Do not add oil. This will take approximately 10 minutes.

2. In a 3 quart/oblong casserole dish, layer the bottom with tortilla chips. Then drain and add the ground beef. Next, evenly spread the salsa. Top with the remaining ingredients in just that order.

3. Place in the oven and bake for approximately 25 minutes, or until the cheese has melted completely. Serve hot.

Emory

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  • Welcome, friends! My name is Emory. I am a wife, mother of two (one earthside and one with the angels), and an animal rescuer. This is our life on the Canadian prairies.
    email: helloscarlettblog@outlook.com

  • Happy birthday, husband. I’m sorry that your birthday doesn’t always go as planned. Also, transitioning from you being gone for weeks, to then being home for a few hours, only to leave again is anything but smooth at first. But know that Remy and I do love and appreciate you so much. I hope that you have a wonderful year (since we’ll probably be spending much of it apart), wherever you now are. I was intending for this video to only be in my stories. After watching it again and again, I decided to post it in my feed as well. I wish to never forget moments like these. Remy’s typical game of asking to go in her crib only to throw everything out of it and pretend to go to sleep. Or her new one- taking her rings in with her and playing with them (after she throws everything out, of course). She makes me say every colour before going to the next one. Then she stacks them up, gets out, and shelves the toy until we have to repeat the game all over again. I let her make her messes all while trying to spend every waking and spare minute with her. These are our days and rituals.
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