a summer of change.

BeFunky_untitled.jpgI am probably going to annoy certain family members with this post today, but I’ve been learning to trust my instincts in regards to blogging and to treat it like a diary when I need to get things off my chest. Don’t worry though followers, I will not drag you down. :-)))

At the beginning of the summer, I came across a meme on Instagram that said ‘let this be the one summer that changes you’. When I read that, I said to myself, “yes, let it.” I had plans to travel, to have loads of fun, and to be carefree. It turns out that my summer went in the opposite direction. Consequently, the sequence of events that occured over the past few months have allowed me, for the first time in my life, to blossom into a strong young woman. While I am aware that I still have many faults and triggers of weakness, I am significantly more confident coming out of the summer than I was going in.

As I near the end of my 28th year on this planet, I have come to realize that I have come a long way since my beginnings. Mostly over the past three months. This summer I took on building a house, opening up a retail store, moving back in with my parents, quitting my position at the library and taking another one, dealing with Holly’s numerous health problems, and fighting repeatedly with certain family members, all for the first time. For those of you who think that family should be there for love and support and should never fight, I think that you are mistaken. There’s a reason that both words begin with the letter ‘f’. Not to mention another bad word. I have always known that friends come and go and thought that family would always be there for me. This is not the case at all. This summer I was betrayed by certain members on both sides of my family. Instead of ignoring the problem like I usually do and hiding my feelings, I decided to stand up for myself. I bravely chose to cut off communication with those family members. Do you know what? The world did not end, nor did I feel any guilt. Just the opposite. For the first time in over five years I have learned to let go of my negative feelings associated with these people, and to move on. While I wish that I did have their love and respect, not having it was incredibly painful. Their constant criticism was draining and their blatant actions to ignore me and what is important in my life was beyond hurtful.

While some may view this as running away from the problem, I see it as the opposite. For years I tried to mend things but in the end it was they who did not want to meet me halfway. Or even a quarter of the way. I feel as if I could do no more to fix these relationships. 

While things may change in the future, and I do hope that someday they will, right now I could not be more relieved. I no longer worry about them or what they think of me. I am living proof that no one should be dragged down by negative relationships, whether it is your friends or your family. You cannot change someone or make them like you if they do not want to. At some point you just need to say that you are done.

In the end, it did turn out to be an amazing summer of change because I learned an invaluable life lesson. I learn to be strong, to stand up for what I believe in, and above all, to take shit from no one.

<3

Emory

8 Comments

  1. Great post – thanks for sharing! I am going through very similar experience so it is always nice to know that I am not alone, there are people in this World who have the same issues as I do and somehow manage to have a good life :)
    Best of luck to You, stay strong and always, always follow Your inner guide – she knows the best!
    Oh, and writing IS very therapeutic so keep writing! :)
    Cheers!

    • No, thank YOU for sharing. This is the best part about blogging; when something that you are going through and subsequently write about truly resonates with others and their current circumstances. You are just as brave for admitting that here.

      By the way, I did hesitate in writing this. Then I thought about what I was taught in university. ‘If you’re thinking of a question, but are too afraid to raise your hand, chances are someone else is thinking the exact same thing. So just ask it.’ Rather than asking it, I told it. I cried on my bed while I wrote this post, when I was supposed to be getting ready for work. I just couldn’t keep it bottled up anymore.

      What I’m trying to say is, if something is bothering us, we should never be afraid to admit it. Even if it is to the whole world. We only live once.

      Thank you for your comment. Truly. <3

  2. AMAZING. GOOD ON YOU.

    – N

    • Thanks, Nash! I welcome any comments by you. Especially when they agree with my innermost thoughts. ;-)))

  3. What a nice, inspiring post. Standing up for yourself is a wonderfully liberating and empowering feeling. It takes a lot of courage. As an introvert it’s always been something I’ve struggled with. Thanks for the inspiration.

    • I, too, am an introvert by nature. So yes, I always try to play the Swiss card, or Canadian card in my case, and remain neutral. Especially at work. But now I think f*ck it. If these family members go out of their way to make me feel uncomfortable, I’mma do the same!

  4. You don’t choose your family so why all this schmaltzy stuff about having to love them unconditionally when they don’t return the favour!

    So I say bravo for standing up for yourself and attending to your needs rather than theirs.

    It’s wise to let go!

    • Thanks Andy! I was a little nervous as to the reception that I would get on this post (like I said, I’m more confident but I still have my moments of weakness). I so, so appreciate comments like yours!

  • Welcome, friends! My name is Emory. I am a wife, mother of two (one earthside and one with the angels), and an animal rescuer. This is our life on the Canadian prairies.
    email: helloscarlettblog@outlook.com

  • Ok, this is directed to all you green thumbs out there. How often should I be watering this guy? I’ve recently jumped from keeping succulents to now house plants, and I don’t seem to be doing very well with the latter. He is in a window facing south west. I was watering him once a week and his leaves were falling out. Then I tried three times a week, and the tips of his leaves turned brown. Do I change the plant pot? Fertilize? Water less? I’m at a loss. Help! 🌿 @omgkersh is leaving us today for another four weeks. Looks like it’s just you and me, kid. P.S. You’re a pretty fun partner, so I’m kind of ok with that. P.P.S. We decided yesterday to cover up these floors rather than trying to save them. So I will only grace you with their beautiful state for a few weeks longer.
  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 2,537 other subscribers

%d bloggers like this: