on life, lately

Forrest View “When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when when you jump. Otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life.”

– A Most Violent Year

I’m not exactly sure what it is about me wanting to make decisions lately. I think that subconsciously, I’m wanting to better my life before I turn 30. That, and perhaps it’s due in part to the change of weather. Whatever the underlying causes are, I’ve made some major life choices as of lately. I’ve alluded to these changes on Instagram, but have not yet gone into detail. For that, I have been chastised. Today I’m going to clear the air for my readers.

This is going to sound silly to most people, but the single event that inspired me to better my life was this post on my store’s Instagram page. It read:

Processed with VSCOcam with a6 preset“I don’t often post photos that aren’t clothes-related. However, I couldn’t help but share the story behind this little plant. He was brought to the store when we opened in October, and was placed in a west-facing window. His growth has been exponential. 2 weeks ago, I decided to remove the top half of the plant in hopes of repotting it and making it into a new succulent. Since then, I have consistently experienced a twinge of guilt each time I looked at his missing top half. This morning, that guilt was alleviated when I looked down and saw brand-new growth sprouting from the very place where I had cut him in half. I firmly believe that if we look close enough we can always learn a new life lesson. This morning I learned that new opportunities can be gained by cutting off old ties, and sometimes when you doubt yourself, those moments turn out to be the best ones in the end.”

What ties were I referencing? One of my jobs that I have had for four years. I job that I have had so much pride in obtaining, but for the last year, have been trying desperately to find a reason to keep. To be more specific, I’ve put in my notice to quit my job at the library. The morning I did so, which was one week ago exactly, I wrote this on Instagram:

Bedroom Quote

“Today is a fresh start, a new beginning. Why? Because I’ve chosen to make it one. This morning I made the decision to let go of something that has a been a big part of my life for nearly four years. Something that I considered as an integral part of my identity. For the last year, it just hasn’t been making my life anymore enjoyable or beneficial. I’m not sure if letting it go was the right decision yet, but so far, it feels as if it is going to be.”

That post received much attention on the social media site in which I had other members of the Instagram community telling me that they had done something similar, all the while not knowing specifically what I was referring to. The ambiguity of my words resonated with them in a way that they could relate it to their own lives and offer input for me. I think that’s why I did it. Yet, because I wasn’t specific, I also caused much speculation and even some anger among friends and family members who weren’t yet aware of what I had done.

Well now you know, at least one of my big decisions. I’m still keeping a few to myself. You guys even know this information before any of my coworkers. Here’s hoping that they won’t read my blog in the next week, before my last shift on May 13, 2015. If anyone at SPL is reading this, keep your mouth shut! Just kidding. :-)

In all seriousness, please message my work email before spilling your guts to anyone else. Thanks!

Lake View

Have a wonderful day, everyone! I know that I will.



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