on life, lately

Forrest View “When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when when you jump. Otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life.”

– A Most Violent Year

I’m not exactly sure what it is about me wanting to make decisions lately. I think that subconsciously, I’m wanting to better my life before I turn 30. That, and perhaps it’s due in part to the change of weather. Whatever the underlying causes are, I’ve made some major life choices as of lately. I’ve alluded to these changes on Instagram, but have not yet gone into detail. For that, I have been chastised. Today I’m going to clear the air for my readers.

This is going to sound silly to most people, but the single event that inspired me to better my life was this post on my store’s Instagram page. It read:

Processed with VSCOcam with a6 preset“I don’t often post photos that aren’t clothes-related. However, I couldn’t help but share the story behind this little plant. He was brought to the store when we opened in October, and was placed in a west-facing window. His growth has been exponential. 2 weeks ago, I decided to remove the top half of the plant in hopes of repotting it and making it into a new succulent. Since then, I have consistently experienced a twinge of guilt each time I looked at his missing top half. This morning, that guilt was alleviated when I looked down and saw brand-new growth sprouting from the very place where I had cut him in half. I firmly believe that if we look close enough we can always learn a new life lesson. This morning I learned that new opportunities can be gained by cutting off old ties, and sometimes when you doubt yourself, those moments turn out to be the best ones in the end.”

What ties were I referencing? One of my jobs that I have had for four years. I job that I have had so much pride in obtaining, but for the last year, have been trying desperately to find a reason to keep. To be more specific, I’ve put in my notice to quit my job at the library. The morning I did so, which was one week ago exactly, I wrote this on Instagram:

Bedroom Quote

“Today is a fresh start, a new beginning. Why? Because I’ve chosen to make it one. This morning I made the decision to let go of something that has a been a big part of my life for nearly four years. Something that I considered as an integral part of my identity. For the last year, it just hasn’t been making my life anymore enjoyable or beneficial. I’m not sure if letting it go was the right decision yet, but so far, it feels as if it is going to be.”

That post received much attention on the social media site in which I had other members of the Instagram community telling me that they had done something similar, all the while not knowing specifically what I was referring to. The ambiguity of my words resonated with them in a way that they could relate it to their own lives and offer input for me. I think that’s why I did it. Yet, because I wasn’t specific, I also caused much speculation and even some anger among friends and family members who weren’t yet aware of what I had done.

Well now you know, at least one of my big decisions. I’m still keeping a few to myself. You guys even know this information before any of my coworkers. Here’s hoping that they won’t read my blog in the next week, before my last shift on May 13, 2015. If anyone at SPL is reading this, keep your mouth shut! Just kidding. :-)

In all seriousness, please message my work email before spilling your guts to anyone else. Thanks!

Lake View

Have a wonderful day, everyone! I know that I will.

<3

Emory

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10 Comments

  1. They say when one door closes, another one opens. It might seem easy to let something go, but for me it is the biggest challenge. What if it’s a mistake?.. Well, I always envy people who can say goodbye easily and move one, that is move forward. I guess, what I am trying to say – congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. I think that 50% of it is actually taking that leap, and the other 50% is trying not to overthink it once you do. At least that’s the way that it plays out for me!

      Like

  2. Marjorie

     /  05/07/2015

    Letting go is always hard but in my experience, it’s when I let go that great things happen. And so I pray the same for you. Here’s to the great things ahead!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Jord K

     /  05/07/2015

    Em,

    I know that this decision was well thought-out and carefully made. I am looking forward to seeing the resulting positive outcomes in your life as you begin to reallocate your time and energy towards new endeavours.

    Keep moving forward.

    Jord

    Liked by 1 person

  4. G

     /  05/07/2015

    Change can be quite difficult but if you are doing it for the right reasons then only good can come of it. Im sure everyone supports you. I DO ;)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Roci

     /  05/07/2015

    Obsessed with the photos on your blog

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Here’s to new beginnings! I do understand and resonant with you. Bravo to you and your new found confidence to start something entirely new. You’ve not lived fully until you’ve failed at something. And, it’s with failing and challenges that we learn and grow.

    Without going off on diff. tangents too much. I much state that I too have a plant story. Not similar; however, it thought me lessons. About three years ago,I purchased an orchid in bloom as it was the season. The following years, I anxiously looked out for those buds that would subsequently turn into beautiful blooms. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. I even thought of tossing the little gal; however, I kept on watering.

    Lo and behold, at the beginning of spring season after all these years, my beautiful orchid decided to put out buds and later speckled purple blooms. Oh, I was elated and overjoyed. Then, I thought about my life. I’ve dreams, some are hidden and are slowly being exposed. I know that some may view my life of deficient of growth; but, what they don’t know is that I’m growing roots deep within.

    In time, just like the orchid I will bloom in a huge way. As a matter a fact, I’m in transition mode. I do think I’ve started to do that. Thanks for sharing your inspirational life story. You’ve a fan. Best wishes with your life’s calling. And, don’t worry about others. You’ve to be your authentic self.

    Cheers!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Always look forward not back…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Given how much on your plate I think you’ve made the right thing. Sometimes it is difficult to put yourself first because you feel like a quitter but you definitely aren’t, you should never feel guilty for looking after yourself!

    Liked by 1 person

  • Hello, friends. My name is Emory. I live on the Canadian prairies with my husband, daughter, and animals. Welcome!
    helloscarlettblog@outlook.com

  • Thank you to all those who liked, commented, and sent me messages yesterday. I am overwhelmed by your love. I would like to share one more thing. Since 2013, I have used my blog as a creative outlet and my Instagram account as my diary. I feel it’s a much better platform to reach out to others, and to be more truthful (if we dare). I try to only follow those who don’t always show the ups and highs of their “perfect” lives. While I think that the more popular, beige square, ad-infused, California chic, glam mother accounts are beautiful, I also find them to be depressing and unoriginal. A miscarriage is real. It is nothing to be ashamed of. If you don’t choose to discuss yours, that’s totally fine! I needed to share mine in order to begin my grieving and healing process. I am now a mother to two children. This is something that I did not want to, nor will I ever hide. Yes, our second child came much too early and did not survive, but that does not make his/her life any less worthy. Our baby was alive at one time. Our baby has a soul. Now, our baby has a name and will forever be part of our family. We are a family of four- three on earth and one angel in heaven. So, thanks again all. Sadness. What a difference a year can make. Last holiday season, Remy turned 10 months old. She had just gotten her first two teeth, and on Christmas morning, had learned to crawl. This year, we are mourning the loss of our second child. I suffered a miscarriage this week, and it has left a deep void in our family. This was going to be our Christmas card where we revealed to friends and family our joyous secret. Now, it remains one of our only photos as a family of four. Because of this, I want to share it with the world. Give your children an extra hug and kiss for me tonight. You are so blessed to have them. All my love, Emory.
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