merry christmas to all

What a difference a year can make. Last year on December 25, Remy turned 10 months old. She had just gotten her first two teeth, and that morning, had learned to crawl. We were so happy. This year, we are mourning the loss of our second child. I suffered a miscarriage this month, and it has left a deep void in our family. This picture was going to be on our Christmas card where we revealed to close friends and family our joyous secret. Now, it remains one of our only photos as a family of four.

Friends, I truly, truly wish you all nothing but the best in 2018. Enjoy spending time with your loved ones, and give your children an extra hug and kiss for me tonight. You are so blessed to have them.

I will be taking a short break from blogging. Merry Christmas, everyone.

All my love,

Emory

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13 Comments

  1. Emory I am SO VERY SORRY to read this. Sending love across the internet.

  2. I know you’ve received lots of support already, but I just wanted to add mine. I’ve miscarried twice. And the pain is so real and so deep. But feeling that loss and sadness is a testament at how much you have loved – and it is very true that you can love those little children with all your heart, even before you meet them, before they are born. I do believe families are a gift from God and they are meant to stay together, not just on earth, but in heaven also. With my second loss I told myself it is ok to cry whenever I need to. It is ok to just break down randomly and let my sorrow out and feel it. It was my way of showing God (and myself) how much I loved that little one and missed them and how grateful I was to have them in my family and be their mom. We’d pick back up in heaven where we left off on earth. I’m sending love – from a total stranger (hopefully that isn’t too awkward) – so maybe we’ll say from one mama to another.

    • This is just so beautiful. You put into words exactly how I’m feeling. I’m so sorry for your loss. I also agree that we will be reunited with our children one day. It’s a horrible feeling knowing that we will never be able to hold and kiss and touch and talk to them on earth, but brings some comfort with the thought of being able to do those things once we pass.

      I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope that you get your happy ending. Thank you for your love and support. You are a strong and amazing person and mother.

      ❤️❤️❤️
      Emory

  3. 💕 sending you hugs, my heart goes out to you and your family

  4. I am understanding your pain as it brings me back to a time when I too, unexpectedly, lost a baby. It was hard to get my hopes up again and want to get attached to something that was as hard to lose emotionally, as if it had been born and lost. We have to start caring for a being we never met as soon as we realize it is part of us as mothers and to have that taken is painful and there is a grieving process. That was years back and now I have a little boy who lights up my world and came to me within 5-6 months of losing the other. Surround yourself with love and that little girl who is such a gift and makes this time of year so special. Hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday season! ~Anne

    • Hi Anne,

      I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. You’re so right that we begin loving and planning the moment we find out that we’re pregnant. For me, I feel as if I have a purpose in life when I’m carrying a child. Having that taken away leaves me feeling robbed. Yet, I/we have to trust that it was for the best.

      I’m so, so happy that you were able to have a beautiful son. If you didn’t have your miscarriage, he wouldn’t be here. That is one positive outcome to a horrible situation. That said, you now have two children. One in heaven, and one earthside. You are very lucky.

      I wanted to share my miscarriage story specifically to reach out to other mothers who have had one. They are so common, and yet, not discussed. For me, it helps being honest and talking about it also helps me navigate through the grieving process.

      Anyway, I hope that you have a wonderful holiday season. All the best, and thank you for sharing your story. Merry Christmas.

      xoxo
      Emory

  5. I am very sorry to hear your news. You are wonderful parents and I know how you treasure Remy. Love each other and be kind to yourselves this holiday season. Hugs!

    • Thank you. Yes, she’s behind every decision and everything good in our lives.

      Merry Christmas and I hope that you have an enjoyable and fun 2018! Best wishes to your family as well.

      Emory

  6. I am so sorry for your loss. It’s especially hard at this time of year when you feel you need to put a smile on your face for the sake of others. God is so gracious..lean on Him hard..He hears us and loves us and holds us close..holds us up when we feel we are falling. He will see you through.

    • Thanks so much Cindy. You’re very kind to reach out.

      I prayed and prayed that everything would work out with this pregnancy. There seemed to be issues from the moment I found out. In the end, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. At least we’ll always have an angel looking over us, and waiting for us when we, too, pass over.

      I think that it would’ve been easier if my husband was at home with me. He’s currently living and working out of town, and not being able to see him at all when it happened and until January put an added sadness on it. However, Remy has been my rock, and I will have time to fully grieve and recover when he gets back.

      Ok! Enough heartbreak for one reply. I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas. All the best in the New Year and beyond. Take care of yourself.

      ❤️❤️❤️❤️
      Emory

      • Take good care of yourselves..it will be such sweet relief when your husband is back home..hang in there.

  • Welcome, friends! My name is Emory. I am a wife and mother to three (one on earth, one in heaven, and growing another). This is our life on the Canadian prairies.
    email: helloscarlettblog@outlook.com

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