As I am settling into my third trimester, I am starting to reflect on my journey into motherhood. I am constantly comparing this pregnancy to my first. I was incredibly ill during my first pregnancy. I lost weight from vomiting more than 10 times per day between weeks 4 and 14. I began to feel better from 18 to about 28 weeks, and resumed a normal schedule. Then I was put on modified bed rest from 31 to 38 weeks due to contractions, dilation, and effacement. I swore that it would be my last pregnancy, only because I felt betrayed by my body at the time. Little did I know how much love and happiness children really do bring into your life. A few days after giving birth, I told my husband that I wanted 3 children, and immediately put that terrible pregnancy out of my mind.

Reflecting on previous blog posts, I really had no idea on what to expect. I bought so many items that I didn’t need, and was lacking on the essentials that I did end up needing. I knew that sleepless nights were ahead of me, but I didn’t realize the extent of that sleeplessness. Also, the sleep regressions that occur every few months during their first year. Those are so difficult! I was terrified of breastfeeding but definitely wanted to try it. That was the one thing that came so naturally to me, and we were able to successfully breastfeed for 19 months. (I hope to go longer with this baby.)

I was able to look back at the last maternity photos that I posted during Remy’s pregnancy. I said that I was 7.5 months at the time, but I think that I was a bit closer to 7 months. I still had that same dress tucked away, so I thought that it would be fun to recreate that session to the best of my ability.

I had this session outdoors, among the trees, in the same dress, with a similar floral crown, 2.5 years apart. My stomach is lower, my face is rounder, and I’m carrying more weight. This is me, at roughly 30 weeks (a little before) versus 30 weeks (a little after).

In the end, the fear, the love, the guilt, the ups, the downs, the everything. I didn’t expect any of it. Motherhood is messy and yet, so beautiful. My life truly began when I had Remy. I cannot wait for our rainbow baby!

Emory

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