I began this post like I usually do. I had a general idea of what I was going to write, in addition to some photographs that I had taken earlier. I also knew that this piece needed a good title. I think that most writers leave the naming of their work until the end. That way, they are able to encompass all of their themes and digressions in a matter of a few words after getting a sense of the piece in its entirety. It’s easier to name something after you see it as opposed to naming it before and having to live up to that grandeur title. Or else they just call it “Untitled.” That’s taking both the easy and the rebel’s way out.

I said most writers, not all. I actually do the opposite. I like having fun titles to my posts. Not ‘Fun.’ the indie band, but ‘fun’ as in interesting and quirky. Titles that seem vaguely familiar, but by changing a few of the words or its context, they take on a whole new meaning. Take today’s post, for instance. Knowing that it was about a picnic table, I typed the word picnic into a lyric database. What I was expecting was many children’s song titles such as “Teddy Bear’s Picnic” or “Going on a Picnic.” What I ended up getting was something completely different, and a little terrifying. I didn’t know that there was so much hostility towards what I consider to be such an enjoyable pastime!

Here are some examples of such lyrics:

“Picnic” by Sammy J

The sun is up, the sky is blue

There’s no one here, just me and you

This would be such a perfect moment

If you were breathing 

…

It’s quite a shock, but all the same

Now I get twice as much champagne

And that should take away the shame

Of abducting you in the first place

“This Ain’t No Picnic” by Minutemen

Working on the edge

Losing my self-respect

For a man who presides over me

The principles of his creed

Punch in, punch out

Eight hours, five days

Sweat, pain and agony

On Friday I’ll get paid

This ain’t no picnic

“Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues” by Bob Dylan

Well, I soon lost track of m’ kids ‘n’ wife,

So many people there I never saw in m’ life

That old ship sinkin’ down in the water,

Six thousand people tryin’ t’ kill each other,

Dogs a-barkin’, cats a-meowin’,

Women screamin’, fists a-flyin’, babies cryin’,

Cops a-comin’, me a-runnin’.

Maybe we just better call off the picnic.

You get the picture. Suddenly, my light-hearted post about our new table had started going in a downward spiral. In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to use any of the titles or lyrics that I had just discovered, and for the first time in a long time, I had to come up with my own. Hence, my blatantly obvious choice of “A Picnic Table for the Little Barn.” Short and sweet and to the point!

So, after all of that, what I originally was going to write about was the fact that we ordered a custom table for our new home. We’ve never owned a proper table. We had a cafe set for the first few years of our marriage, then nothing for a year or more, then finally Baba’s table for the last year. Since we have 9 feet of space in our new home, I wanted a long-ass table. My mum generously gave us one of her church pews that I have been coveting for years, which is exactly 9 feet long. So I found a guy online who builds tables, and told him what I was looking for. He ended up making us a picnic table with a bench on one side only, and a tabletop that is 7′ x 3′. I love it!

We still need to stain it and fill in the holes with filler. Until then, it’s being stored at my parent’s house. 

I’ll be sure to post a picture of our new table, along with our pew in The Little Barn, once we move everything in. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this post and music lesson!

<3

Emory