a summer of change.

BeFunky_untitled.jpgI am probably going to annoy certain family members with this post today, but I’ve been learning to trust my instincts in regards to blogging and to treat it like a diary when I need to get things off my chest. Don’t worry though followers, I will not drag you down. :-)))

At the beginning of the summer, I came across a meme on Instagram that said ‘let this be the one summer that changes you’. When I read that, I said to myself, “yes, let it.” I had plans to travel, to have loads of fun, and to be carefree. It turns out that my summer went in the opposite direction. Consequently, the sequence of events that occured over the past few months have allowed me, for the first time in my life, to blossom into a strong young woman. While I am aware that I still have many faults and triggers of weakness, I am significantly more confident coming out of the summer than I was going in.

As I near the end of my 28th year on this planet, I have come to realize that I have come a long way since my beginnings. Mostly over the past three months. This summer I took on building a house, opening up a retail store, moving back in with my parents, quitting my position at the library and taking another one, dealing with Holly’s numerous health problems, and fighting repeatedly with certain family members, all for the first time. For those of you who think that family should be there for love and support and should never fight, I think that you are mistaken. There’s a reason that both words begin with the letter ‘f’. Not to mention another bad word. I have always known that friends come and go and thought that family would always be there for me. This is not the case at all. This summer I was betrayed by certain members on both sides of my family. Instead of ignoring the problem like I usually do and hiding my feelings, I decided to stand up for myself. I bravely chose to cut off communication with those family members. Do you know what? The world did not end, nor did I feel any guilt. Just the opposite. For the first time in over five years I have learned to let go of my negative feelings associated with these people, and to move on. While I wish that I did have their love and respect, not having it was incredibly painful. Their constant criticism was draining and their blatant actions to ignore me and what is important in my life was beyond hurtful.

While some may view this as running away from the problem, I see it as the opposite. For years I tried to mend things but in the end it was they who did not want to meet me halfway. Or even a quarter of the way. I feel as if I could do no more to fix these relationships. 

While things may change in the future, and I do hope that someday they will, right now I could not be more relieved. I no longer worry about them or what they think of me. I am living proof that no one should be dragged down by negative relationships, whether it is your friends or your family. You cannot change someone or make them like you if they do not want to. At some point you just need to say that you are done.

In the end, it did turn out to be an amazing summer of change because I learned an invaluable life lesson. I learn to be strong, to stand up for what I believe in, and above all, to take shit from no one.



the truth about acreage living

12Both my husband and I thought we were acreage people. I lived on one when I was a child and can remember all the fun that my siblings and I had in the country. My husband spent his teenage years on one as well, up until his second year of post secondary schooling. When I was in university, we moved back to an acreage. My parents have been there ever since, and my husband and I have been living with them off and on over the past few years.

Many of you joined our roller coaster ride in our 5 month search for an acreage of our own. While we didn’t end up settling on one, we did purchase land in the country. Do you know what? I think it’s a blessing in disguise. It’s funny how you may think that you want something so badly, and go after it in full force, only to realize that it’s not what you wanted in the end. Living on an acreage at this stage in my life has made me realize that. All of our jobs are located in the city, on top of which our free time is also spent there. With no desire to spend our days off mowing the lawn, and no children to speak of, the only good thing about living in the country is the peace and quiet, and having space for our animals. I’m hoping that therefore our city-sized lot outside of the city will be the best of both worlds for us and our animals. At least for right now.

14Not everyone will share this opinion, just as I don’t expect them to. Some people are made for country life, like my mum. While she would probably whither up and die in the city, there are days when she, too, needs a break from it all. This was an email that I received from her one Sunday morning.

“So here’s my day so far…. Ben (dog) left a dead mouse in dog room. Two puncture wounds. Then he was sniffing dead grass. Grass went up his nose and he started choking. I pulled it out of his nostrils. A handful. The graham wafer broke while feeding the donkeys and Mama (donkey) bit my finger. Bleeding. Sam (mini horse) ran into page fence. Got his head stuck. Ripped hair and has two nasty holes on his face. Mesa (kitten) has climbed a tree and can’t get down. And it’s only 10:30 (am).”

I think that acreage living is suited best for children or individuals who either do not work away from home, or do not work at all. Those who fall in between can also make it work, but you had better like rising with the sun and going to bed at sundown. If you do, I applaud you.



13Above are photos that I have taken over the summer while living on my parent’s acreage.

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