sweet remy in the prairie grass (and other outtakes)

Hello, friends! Welcome back. I hope that you all enjoyed celebrating Canada Day and Independence Day this year. :-)))

Today I wanted to share a few extra photos from my first maternity session at Cranberry Flats. These are some that I didn’t include in the original post, but still wanted to share with the world. They are more truer to how the morning went- Remy walking away on her own, us pushing the stroller with Truman attached, a certain toddler not wanting to be in any family pictures, and constant water breaks.

It was 30°C that morning, and we were all sweaty and tired by the end of it. Hitting the timer and running back into the frame on rough terrain was no joke! But it was oh, so fun. It is still one of my favourite personal sessions to date!

Enjoy this short work week! See you in a few days.

Emory

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20 weeks

First of all, thank you all so much for all of your kind words on my pregnancy reveal post! You guys are seriously the best. :-))) And now I’m at the mid point of my pregnancy!

So much has happened between weeks 18 and 20. For instance:

baby can now hear our voices
– it has finger and toe prints
– its legs are finally in proportion with its body
– it is covered in vernix
– it can now open its eyes
– I felt its first kicks

This is our babe at my 12 weeks ultrasound appointment. I explained on Instagram that seeing his/her movements and beating heart was just so emotional. With our second baby, I had two ultrasounds. At 6 weeks, it had a slow heartbeat. At 8 weeks, there was none. I specifically waited until I was further along to even book an appointment with this baby, just in case I lost another one. During the appointment, he/she was waving at us on the screen, so I took it as a sign that it was doing fantastic and everything would be OK!

Feel free to revisit my 20 week update with Remy.

Have a lovely weekend, all!

Emory

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recipe: vegan avocado & peanut fudge

Avocados are a source of healthy fats, as well as containing over twenty vitamins and minerals. I thought I would try a healthier take on a sweet treat this time round.

Vegan Avocado & Peanut Fudge

1 ½ cups vegan chocolate chips
1 cup coconut sugar
¾ cup coconut milk (place in fridge beforehand and use hardened top and bottom layers)
½ cup cocoa powder
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp sea salt
2 large avocados
½ cup chopped peanuts

Steps:

1. In a medium saucepan, combine the first six ingredients. Stir over medium heat until completely melted. Turn the heat off, and set the mixture aside.

2. Remove the skin and pits from the avocados. Place in a food processor or blender and blend until smooth. Then add the chocolate mixture and blend again until well combined.

3. Line a square baking dish with parchment paper. (I tried using tin foil the first time round, and it was a disaster! Use parchment to ensure that the fudge won’t stick to the dish.) Pour the fudge evenly into the dish. Top with peanuts. Place in the freezer for at least 4 hours, and keep the fudge in there until just before serving. The cooler it is, the firmer it is, which makes it easier to cut and to eat! Bon appétit!

Emory

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rowen august kurysh

“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there.” Psalm 34:18

This is an incredibly hard post to write and publish. Today was the day that we were going to reveal my pregnancy to friends and followers. I would have been nearly 18 weeks pregnant. The wait for this announcement was a full month and a half longer than in my first pregnancy. I guess I wanted to relish in only us knowing, and also because I didn’t really “feel” pregnant. My symptoms weren’t nearly as strong with this baby as they were with Remy. On top of that, I had two bad ultrasounds, multiple blood tests with poor results, and bleeding. All of which led to our baby eventually dying. I have to stay positive and believe that it happened for a reason. I also have hope that God will bless us with a third and healthy child that I will be able to carry to term. If I don’t trust in these things, the pain is too much to bear.

Here are two additional quotes that have brought me some comfort.

Do you have quotes or passages that you turn to for solace?

To my sweet Rowen, I’ll always love you.

Mama

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i’m still here

Hey everyone. I wanted to check in since going silent last month.

I hope that you’ve been having a great year, as short as it’s been. January has been a bit rough for us- between my husband being gone, tragedies with his work, sicknesses in our household, and a general feeling of sadness that I just cannot shake. Ordinarily, I am not this candid on my blog. Rather, I tend to save my true feelings for Instagram. However, I thought screw it. It’s time to be honest, and stop being afraid of what people might think.

I had quite a few mothers reach out to me in my last post regarding my miscarriage. Thank you. Thank you for being brave enough to share your stories, coping mechanisms, and more. I truly feel united to you all, and wish you nothing but the best. This is a safe space for those who would like to connect and tell their truths. I support everyone who wishes to do so, and will tolerate no hatred, bullies, or trolls. If the latter relates to you, your comments will not be approved nor read by me!

Looking back through my Instagram feed, I’ve noticed that since having Remy, my face has changed. I used to be a carefree and naive girl. Now, I feel like I physically, mentally, and emotionally am so different. I’ve grown up, and as such, my appearance has matured. I no longer try to look happy and perfect in my photos, but rather, have a look of contentment and solemnity. I also seem to never look at the camera, but to focus on Remy instead. This is not forced, it is instinctive. It is motherhood.

A few weeks ago I set out to capture a few outfit photos. I used to regularly feature my outfit of the day, and I wanted to try bringing that back. After looking through the images, I saw someone I didn’t recognize. My eyes look sad, my hair is its natural dark, and my smile is contrived. The images were so raw that I considered not posting them. Then, relating back to my second paragraph, I knew that they needed to be published. This is me in pain. This is me carrying on during the day as if I didn’t lose my second child. This is me in my current state. This is me needing to change. I’m going to stop putting myself last in our family and take the time to put effort into how I think, feel, and look. I’m going to do selfish things that make me feel like a normal person again. I’m going to colour my hair, get my nails done, and return to the gym. I’m going to stop suppressing my emotions and instead let them out. I deserve these things. We all do. We shouldn’t deny ourselves of self-care. I have for 2 years now, and it’s going to stop. This death doesn’t signify an end. This is the start of something new.

What do you guys do for self-love? What brings you back to feeling normal?

Emory

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  • Welcome, friends! My name is Emory. I am a wife and mother to three (one on earth, one in heaven, and growing another). This is our life on the Canadian prairies.
    email: helloscarlettblog@outlook.com

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