30 versus 30

As I am settling into my third trimester, I am starting to reflect on my journey into motherhood. I am constantly comparing this pregnancy to my first. I was incredibly ill during my first pregnancy. I lost weight from vomiting more than 10 times per day between weeks 4 and 14. I began to feel better from 18 to about 28 weeks, and resumed a normal schedule. Then I was put on modified bed rest from 31 to 38 weeks due to contractions, dilation, and effacement. I swore that it would be my last pregnancy, only because I felt betrayed by my body at the time. Little did I know how much love and happiness children really do bring into your life. A few days after giving birth, I told my husband that I wanted 3 children, and immediately put that terrible pregnancy out of my mind.

Reflecting on previous blog posts, I really had no idea on what to expect. I bought so many items that I didn’t need, and was lacking on the essentials that I did end up needing. I knew that sleepless nights were ahead of me, but I didn’t realize the extent of that sleeplessness. Also, the sleep regressions that occur every few months during their first year. Those are so difficult! I was terrified of breastfeeding but definitely wanted to try it. That was the one thing that came so naturally to me, and we were able to successfully breastfeed for 19 months. (I hope to go longer with this baby.)

I was able to look back at the last maternity photos that I posted during Remy’s pregnancy. I said that I was 7.5 months at the time, but I think that I was a bit closer to 7 months. I still had that same dress tucked away, so I thought that it would be fun to recreate that session to the best of my ability.

I had this session outdoors, among the trees, in the same dress, with a similar floral crown, 2.5 years apart. My stomach is lower, my face is rounder, and I’m carrying more weight. This is me, at roughly 30 weeks (a little before) versus 30 weeks (a little after).

In the end, the fear, the love, the guilt, the ups, the downs, the everything. I didn’t expect any of it. Motherhood is messy and yet, so beautiful. My life truly began when I had Remy. I cannot wait for our rainbow baby!

Emory

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nesting

This pregnancy, my nesting instincts have been kicked into high gear. Like most pregnant mothers, I constantly feel the urge to rearrange, remodel, or fix things around our home.

I think that my nesting might be more intense this time around because we weren’t living in our own place when I was expecting Remy. I remember nearing the end of that pregnancy and crying after every doctor’s appointment because we didn’t have a separate bedroom for our baby. I somehow had it in my mind that he/she deserved one, and I felt like less of a parent because I couldn’t provide that. Back then, Geoffrey was going to school full-time and I was only working part-time. To save money, we rented out our house and moved into the second home on my parent’s acreage. Once our renters moved out, we listed our house but kept living at their acreage. I desperately wanted to move back into our home, but by then I was “too pregnant.” I was beyond grateful to be living somewhere for free, but I still remember that feeling of helplessness.

This pregnancy, everything is so different! We are settled in our own home, Geoffrey is working, and Remy and the baby have a bedroom. In the meantime, I’ve been trying to perfect each room in preparation for a new baby. This includes the exterior as well. I know from experience that we won’t be able to really redecorate once baby is here, so I’m trying to get it out of the way now. It’s been really fun. Here is what we have tackled in the last few months:

Ever since we renovated our kitchen, I’ve been unhappy with the empty space above the stove. Above is what it looked like.

I asked my followers on Instagram what they would put there, but the polls came back with inconclusive answers.

After leaving it for awhile, I came across a crate that we had stored on our basement. I hung it up one afternoon and it’s been the right fit ever since. That is, until we get backsplash!

We also have been hanging other items on our kitchen walls, and adding a ton of plants.

Our backyard and front yard have received similar attention. Tired of the unstained deck and rotting trim on the garage, we chose to finally hang new wood and stain the preexisting decks. Above is a before picture.

Here is the result. Much better. We have been gardening like mad, replanting the sod, bought outdoor furniture, and hung a flower box in the front. We’re slowly but surely fixing the outside of our home. Next month, we get a new roof!

Our living room was next on my list. Here is what it looked like before the new flooring and paint.

This is how we had it for the last few months. That cord always bothered us, and it just felt like an unfinished space. I decided to turn it into a gallery wall. See below.

This is still a work in progress. We have hung three pictures so far, but are waiting for the birth of our new baby to hang the remaining three. I love how it’s turning out!

Remy’s room is also getting redecorated a bit. I’ve rearranged her shelves and walls, and this weekend we’re buying her a bigger bed.

Our room is going to serve as the nursery for the first few months. It is the only room in our home that we haven’t touched over the last few years. Above is how we had it.

This is what it looks like now. We hung curtains, painted the room, and are clearing a space for the crib. I’m probably most excited about this area, and will reveal more as we go along.

That’s it for now. There have been other recent changes but they will have to wait for another day.

Have a lovely week and weekend, all!

Emory

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a prairie pregnancy (and letting go)

Everyone goes through ups and downs in life. That is a fact. Before I became pregnant for the third time, I had gone through almost a year of lows. My contracted job abruptly ended, for a time we weren’t able to afford our bills, my husband moved away for 5 months, I stopped breastfeeding Remy and she became sick with multiple ailments, I suffered from depression, and I experienced a miscarriage, alone, at Christmas. Yet, I tried so hard not to complain to anyone. How I coped was through my tears. I would just cry and cry. At the time, I didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems. We’ve all got them. I knew that eventually, every negative thing would pass. I hoped that it would get better, and after a difficult year it did.

Since April of 2018, I have not felt depressed. We have beautiful weather, we have new life joining us, we are settled in our home, my husband is here and is working a great career, and more. I am thankful to have gone through so many recent lows in order to fully appreciate where we are at this moment. I’m not saying that it will last, but for now, we are rejoicing.

That said, a part of me feels a loss. I look at my child and my growing belly and it saddens me how I don’t have a closer relationship with certain family members (ie. my own parents). As I get older, these relationships only seem to worsen.

Yet, I am constantly grounded by this life growing inside of me. To feel its kicks every time I eat a meal or lay in bed, and know that it’s there every second of the day from this roaring heartburn. I feel as if it’s time to stop putting so much worry into what I can’t fix at this very moment, and to really concentrate on those who are present in my life. I do have hope that one day, these relationships will improve. Only time will tell.

So thank you to my friends and family who are there. Thank you baby for this renewal. I promise to be the best mother to you. Always.

Emory

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what i bought baby

Hi friends! I cannot believe that I am publishing a post about what I have bought (or am intending to buy) our baby-to-be. It seems like ages ago that I created posts such as these. And it was! Sort of. Three years ago, to be more precise. I was pregnant for the first time with Remy, and was trying to navigate my way through becoming a first-time parent. I was so lost as to what to buy. This time around, I certainly feel more confident in what to get him/her. Let’s begin!

1. Milo’s Corner Rabbit Blanket

It sounds silly to admit this, but I didn’t know the power of swaddling babies until having one. I thought that they would like to feel free and move around in their sleep, just like adults. I actually thought that swaddling was almost a form of punishment! I knew nothing, apparently.

One thing that I did not have enough of with Remy was muslin blankets. I think that we only bought three, all of which were used heavily! With this baby, I’m going to ensure that we have more than our fair share just so that he/she will always be able to be wrapped up nice and snug.

2. Gerber Onesies in White

Onesies onesies onesies. Give me all the onesies. This seems like such an obvious thing to have, but we did not buy enough onesies, nor any in a Newborn size. My sister usually has big babies that she dresses in sleepers for basically the first year of their lives. I didn’t know if we preferred sleepers or onesies, so I chose to copy what she preferred. With 6 children, I considered her an expert! I also only bought 0-3 month size. It turns out that I make small babies, and I dislike sleepers. We ended up having to do many extra shopping trips just so we would have Newborn clothes to fit our newborn. This time, we won’t make the same mistake.

3. Solly Baby Wrap in Camel

Having my own wrap this time around is a must! When I was pregnant with Remy, I had it in my mind that only crunchy mamas wore their babies in a wrap. Utterly defiant, we purchased a front carrier instead. It looked like a small backpack, only for babies. After I had given birth, I quickly found myself dreading the witching hour each day. Remy would cry nonstop from 4-7 pm. Desperately seeking any advice that I could find, I turned to Instagram and asked other mothers what they did to soothe their fussy babies. All of them said to wear her. So I tried. I put her in the carrier, but she was so small and it just wasn’t a safe option. I gave up until a few days later when I borrowed my sister’s Moby Wrap. Remy was instantly calmed, and I mean instantly. She immediately fell asleep against my chest and so wearing her everyday just became our thing. Eventually, I had to give the wrap back to my sister. Now, I will own one for myself. After much research, I am choosing the Solly Baby Wrap.

You can see my baby wearing post here.

4. Reverie Threads Beanie in Black + White and Camel

I seem to be sensing a Camel theme happening. Colours aside, I really didn’t think to purchase any beanies or bonnets with our first baby. In fact, an entire section was devoted to not covering your newborn’s head during my prenatal class. I forget their reasoning, but I took it as putting a hat on your child was wrong. That was wrong. My sister ended up giving me a bin of girl clothes once Remy came into the world, and I noticed that she had a ton of beanies in it. Curious, I took a few out. After Remy’s bath one night, I put one on her while I was dressing her. It immediately warmed her up, and softened her cries. After that, she wore one every night after her bath until bedtime. Once again, I am making sure that we have a few of our own with this baby! (So far, I have purchased these two.)

Finally, today would have been my due date for our second baby. While being pregnant doesn’t take the pain away, it does give me something and someone to look forward to. Sweet Rowen, we will see you again someday.

<3<3

Emory

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20 weeks

First of all, thank you all so much for all of your kind words on my pregnancy reveal post! You guys are seriously the best. :-))) And now I’m at the mid point of my pregnancy!

So much has happened between weeks 18 and 20. For instance:

baby can now hear our voices
– it has finger and toe prints
– its legs are finally in proportion with its body
– it is covered in vernix
– it can now open its eyes
– I felt its first kicks

This is our babe at my 12 weeks ultrasound appointment. I explained on Instagram that seeing his/her movements and beating heart was just so emotional. With our second baby, I had two ultrasounds. At 6 weeks, it had a slow heartbeat. At 8 weeks, there was none. I specifically waited until I was further along to even book an appointment with this baby, just in case I lost another one. During the appointment, he/she was waving at us on the screen, so I took it as a sign that it was doing fantastic and everything would be OK!

Feel free to revisit my 20 week update with Remy.

Have a lovely weekend, all!

Emory

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  • Welcome, friends! My name is Emory. I am a wife and mother to three (one on earth, one in heaven, and growing another). This is our life on the Canadian prairies.
    email: helloscarlettblog@outlook.com

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