one year old!

This week has been one of deep reflection for me. On Friday November 15, our Wild One will be one year old! This has been one of the fastest and happiest years of my life.

Geoffrey and I had always planned on naming our son Wilder, even years before I became pregnant for the first time. In 2016 came Remy, then our second baby Rowen who I lost in 2017, and finally, Wilder in 2018.

Wilder was and is our rainbow baby. He brought us great hope when we felt lost and sad.

He has been the sweetest, loveliest, and most easy-going baby from the start. I remember being pregnant and at the end of each day I would jump up and down and shake my belly in order to get some type of movement. He was just always so content in there and hardly ever moved around. The only thing that he would seem to move for was the sound of Remy’s voice. He would start dancing whenever she was being particularly loud! I was therefore certain that they would have a strong bond once he was born. That has definitely been the case! These two are as tight as can be.

Because he was so calm in my uterus, I questioned whether or not we should name him Wilder (if he turned out to be a boy) almost the entire time that I was pregnant. That is, until he was born. It was such a wild birth that everyone who met him afterwards said that he had already lived up to his name. After that, I never doubted our choice again.

Wilder is sweet and calm but with an adventurous side. He loves climbing and isn’t afraid to explore any furniture or object that stands in his way. He loves everyone and enjoys waving to and playing peekaboo with strangers. He can out-wave anyone!

He babbles constantly, says a few words, crawls, stands unassisted (!!), walks by only holding onto one of our hands and by pushing anything that moves across the house, loves to people watch, is sensitive, is a pretty good sleeper, still breastfeeds, and still has no teeth! I don’t know what will come first at this point- walking or teeth. He’s pretty close to both, I think.

Anytime I feel sad about him getting older I have to remember that it is a good thing. He is happy, healthy, and thriving. It is only natural that he will keep growing! This is also such a special time in my life- being pregnant and having children. I almost feel like my life is a fairy-tale. Once this phase is over, I will never again get to experience anything even remotely similar. Thus I am trying to soak in every moment that is humanly possible!

I am writing this post on November 10, 2019. On this exact date in 2017, when my niece was getting baptized, I found out that I was pregnant with our second child. While this time of year is one for rejoicing, I can’t help but feel a bit of sadness around our baby that I never came to know or hold. Remembrance Day alone is one for sombreness and reflection, and I will certainly be doing a lot of that during this week- for many reasons. We are blessed to live where we do and lead the life that we have. Sadness aside, I am truly thankful as well.

I wanted to include a prayer for Remembrance Day that was in our church bulletin:

Loving God,
Have mercy on your people,
And open our hearts to peace and love.
Reward all who have died for the country,
And grant that Canada
And all nations
May continue to work
For peace and justice.
Bless us in your service,
And help us to follow Jesus Christ,
Who is our Saviour and our Lord
Forever and ever.
Amen

If you are still reading this, thank you for joining me in my pregnancy journey and Wilder’s first year of his life! Also, for following me through all these trains of thought, trips down memory lane, and emotions. Here are a few pictures that I wanted to include because I have never shared them on my blog (or social media). Gosh, how my darling son has grown.

We will be celebrating Wilder this Saturday with the few family members that love him and have been in his life since the beginning.

Have a lovely lovely lovely week, everyone!

Emory

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on paying it forward

“A candle throws its light into the darkness,
In a nasty world, so shines the good deed.
Make sure the fortune, that you seek
Is the fortune that you need.

So tell me why, the first to ask,
Is the last to give, every time?
What you say and do not mean,
Follows you close behind.”

– Ben Harper, Diamonds on the Inside

There are generally two classes of individuals; the givers and the takers. I do not know where I personally know where I stand. As someone who often self-deprecates, I automatically think that I am a taker, even if I don’t always indulge in selfish tendencies. When it comes to people and things that I love, such as my animals, store, friends, and family members, even at the library where I work, I know that I am a giver to a fault. Yet, because I am a human being and am biologically wired to self-preserve, isn’t it second nature to want to be a taker and put ourselves first? These are the dilemmas and dichotomies that I often consider in my journey to be a more humble and giving human being.

Last week Geoffrey and I went to see The Fight Club in the theatres. The movies theatres in our city frequently play classic films that they turn into a one-night event. When they do, we try to go. I’ve blogged about it here, here, and here. On the night that we went, there was something different in the air. When we showed up, the theatre doors were locked even though there was a film playing at that very moment. A crowd of us gathered outside, confused, but laughing and trying to figure out a way to get in since the next movie was playing in 30 minutes. One of us finally did, and suddenly, 10 or so strangers quickly became acquainted as we waited inside and in line for tickets. I’m not too sure as to what happened next, but for some reason, the first person paid for the next movie-goer in line. That person then paid for the next, and so on, until it came to us. My first thought was, ‘woo-hoo! Free ticket!’ but that would have defeated the purpose of this random act of generosity. Before I could do anything, Geoffrey asked for two tickets. One was for himself, and the other, for the person behind us since mine was free. I’m not sure if this continued down the line to when the last person didn’t have to pay for their ticket, but I certainly hope that it did. For this kindness to happen at a movie like The Fight Club, I thought that it was both fitting and contradictory given that the film centres on acts of community (albeit destructive ones).

I haven’t come across many instances of paying it forward. However, when I do, they stick with me for a long time. When they do occur, I am usually in line at a coffee shop and someone either pays for my order, or hands me something free with my order (a napkin rose, for instance). I am always caught off guard, but my day is instantly made better. One such instance was when I was a  broke student and in university. The girl in front of me paid for my coffee and told the staff to give me her business card that she had left behind. I was so grateful and didn’t get a chance to thank her. Yet, I think that’s what makes it more special for the giver. The fact that they do it out of the goodness of their hearts and are not looking for any acknowledgement. Still, I kept the card for a long time since I had always meant to email her and thank her for being so kind. Inevitably, the busy, forgetful, and somewhat selfish student in me never did. Even though it was many years ago, I still think about it and regret not contacting her to show her my appreciation.

The morning after we went to the theatres, I visited a coffee shop for some much needed caffeine. I was on my way to my store, and rather than joining the drive-thru queue at the back of the line, I had to cut through the alley and pull up at a point that forces you to join halfway through the line, cutting everyone else off. I personally hate when people sneak in this way, and try to avoid it at all costs. This morning, because of traffic, I couldn’t avoid it at all. I held back and tried letting everyone else go ahead of me in order to  wait for a spot at the back of the line, but I was holding up traffic in the alley and the drivers behind me were getting impatient. Suddenly, someone in the drive-thru generously waived me through and let me go in front of them, taking me to the front of the line. Embarrassed but thankful, I went ahead. Still on a giving high from the night before, and remembering the time that a stranger paid for my coffee and left her card, I thought, ‘now’s my chance to pay it forward.’ I pulled ahead, paid for my order and the individual’s behind me, and told the staff to hand them my business card. I never received an email thanking me, but in reality, I am glad.

IMG_1288Maybe the issue of being a giver or a taker isn’t so black and white after all.

<3

Emory

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  • Welcome, friends! My name is Emory. I am a wife and mother to three (two on earth and one in heaven). This is our life on the Canadian prairies.
    email: helloscarlettblog@outlook.com

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