geoffrey’s 33rd birthday

My dear husband recently took another year around the sun. I am not sure why I tend to dedicate a blog post to his birthdays and not mine- maybe because it is more fun to celebrate the birthdays of those that you love. Regardless of the reason, this year, celebrate we did.

We chose to go to the Remai Modern art museum in Saskatoon. Even though it had opened in 2017, we had yet to visit it. After spending the morning getting ready (and trying to help Remy feel a bit healthier), we finally made it out the door. We drove a very short distance, parked, and went inside.

We unfortunately chose a day where they were working on a new exhibit, and so a few of the galleries were closed. The Learning Studio was also not open until later that day. But the museum was relatively empty, and so we explored all three levels with ease. We began with the Picasso Collection, and ended in the gift shop.

It really is such a beautiful building. Everything about it is so eye-catching. The artwork, although minimal, was really engaging as well. The only downside was that it felt like more of a great date destination for us, and not so much a welcoming place for our children. Remy’s favourite part was the play area, which consisted of foam seats, a few children that happened to be on their way out, and the gift shop. She still had fun, but we were mostly telling her “don’t touch that!”

I would love to go back with just Geoffrey if and when we actually start date nights again. Until then, here are those photos from our lovely morning.

Happy birthday, husband!

Emory

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a prairie pregnancy (and letting go)

Everyone goes through ups and downs in life. That is a fact. Before I became pregnant for the third time, I had gone through almost a year of lows. My contracted job abruptly ended, for a time we weren’t able to afford our bills, my husband moved away for 5 months, I stopped breastfeeding Remy and she became sick with multiple ailments, I suffered from depression, and I experienced a miscarriage, alone, at Christmas. Yet, I tried so hard not to complain to anyone. How I coped was through my tears. I would just cry and cry. At the time, I didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems. We’ve all got them. I knew that eventually, every negative thing would pass. I hoped that it would get better, and after a difficult year it did.

Since April of 2018, I have not felt depressed. We have beautiful weather, we have new life joining us, we are settled in our home, my husband is here and is working a great career, and more. I am thankful to have gone through so many recent lows in order to fully appreciate where we are at this moment. I’m not saying that it will last, but for now, we are rejoicing.

That said, a part of me feels a loss. I look at my child and my growing belly and it saddens me how I don’t have a closer relationship with certain family members (ie. my own parents). As I get older, these relationships only seem to worsen.

Yet, I am constantly grounded by this life growing inside of me. To feel its kicks every time I eat a meal or lay in bed, and know that it’s there every second of the day from this roaring heartburn. I feel as if it’s time to stop putting so much worry into what I can’t fix at this very moment, and to really concentrate on those who are present in my life. I do have hope that one day, these relationships will improve. Only time will tell.

So thank you to my friends and family who are there. Thank you baby for this renewal. I promise to be the best mother to you. Always.

Emory

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sweet remy in the prairie grass (and other outtakes)

Hello, friends! Welcome back. I hope that you all enjoyed celebrating Canada Day and Independence Day this year. :-)))

Today I wanted to share a few extra photos from my first maternity session at Cranberry Flats. These are some that I didn’t include in the original post, but still wanted to share with the world. They are more truer to how the morning went- Remy walking away on her own, us pushing the stroller with Truman attached, a certain toddler not wanting to be in any family pictures, and constant water breaks.

It was 30°C that morning, and we were all sweaty and tired by the end of it. Hitting the timer and running back into the frame on rough terrain was no joke! But it was oh, so fun. It is still one of my favourite personal sessions to date!

Enjoy this short work week! See you in a few days.

Emory

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i’m still here

Hey everyone. I wanted to check in since going silent last month.

I hope that you’ve been having a great year, as short as it’s been. January has been a bit rough for us- between my husband being gone, tragedies with his work, sicknesses in our household, and a general feeling of sadness that I just cannot shake. Ordinarily, I am not this candid on my blog. Rather, I tend to save my true feelings for Instagram. However, I thought screw it. It’s time to be honest, and stop being afraid of what people might think.

I had quite a few mothers reach out to me in my last post regarding my miscarriage. Thank you. Thank you for being brave enough to share your stories, coping mechanisms, and more. I truly feel united to you all, and wish you nothing but the best. This is a safe space for those who would like to connect and tell their truths. I support everyone who wishes to do so, and will tolerate no hatred, bullies, or trolls. If the latter relates to you, your comments will not be approved nor read by me!

Looking back through my Instagram feed, I’ve noticed that since having Remy, my face has changed. I used to be a carefree and naive girl. Now, I feel like I physically, mentally, and emotionally am so different. I’ve grown up, and as such, my appearance has matured. I no longer try to look happy and perfect in my photos, but rather, have a look of contentment and solemnity. I also seem to never look at the camera, but to focus on Remy instead. This is not forced, it is instinctive. It is motherhood.

A few weeks ago I set out to capture a few outfit photos. I used to regularly feature my outfit of the day, and I wanted to try bringing that back. After looking through the images, I saw someone I didn’t recognize. My eyes look sad, my hair is its natural dark, and my smile is contrived. The images were so raw that I considered not posting them. Then, relating back to my second paragraph, I knew that they needed to be published. This is me in pain. This is me carrying on during the day as if I didn’t lose my second child. This is me in my current state. This is me needing to change. I’m going to stop putting myself last in our family and take the time to put effort into how I think, feel, and look. I’m going to do selfish things that make me feel like a normal person again. I’m going to colour my hair, get my nails done, and return to the gym. I’m going to stop suppressing my emotions and instead let them out. I deserve these things. We all do. We shouldn’t deny ourselves of self-care. I have for 2 years now, and it’s going to stop. This death doesn’t signify an end. This is the start of something new.

What do you guys do for self-love? What brings you back to feeling normal?

Emory

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christmas minis

It’s almost Christmas! This year I had advertised for mini (mini) photography sessions. My ad was aimed at those who specifically had their cards in mind. The shoots were very short and very styled. For this family in particular, I came to their house, asked them what they had in mind, and we set about pulling it off!

Here is just one of those sessions. To book your own, please visit Prudence + Me Photography.

Emory

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  • Welcome, friends! My name is Emory. I am a wife and mother to three (two on earth and one in heaven). This is our life on the Canadian prairies.
    email: helloscarlettblog@outlook.com

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